We talked about this a dozen times. No, this is not my lawyer talking. You can’t just show up drunk expecting to see my daughter. I understand that. No she is my daughter. Look being a swan with the ability to mentally communicate and breed with humans is great. It really is. We both know you’ll never be a father to him. This is not overreacting. We need to come to a simple agreement of avoidance.
No, you don’t get to do that. Filling my mind with our song is not going to help you on this one. No putting the smell of brownies won’t help ether. Great, now I’m just pissed off and I want brownies.
Why aren’t you listening to me?
You have my fullest attention. Your name is Kendra and this is your cat named Muffins. You are six and today you stopped by to warn me about a world…what was it?
A world-wide economic collapse, Muffins is certain it will occur too.
Will it now? Did my husband send you?
There’s no time, the fate of millions depends on your willingness to stabilize a volatile marketplace.
Come on in, I think I would like to learn more about this worldwide thingy. We have apple pie and if you want we can get some ice cream.
Let’s not just run off in a huff Muffins. No, we can stay for a slice. Leaving would be rude.
Would Muffin like sprinkles?
Oh you have sprinkles? We talked it over; we can stay for a slice, but only one.
Head right into the living room.
Well I heard marijuana makes you lethargic.
Not true Billy, look at all the wonderful things you can do. You could fly a kite with friends or play baseball.
What are you pointing at?
That is a splendid idea let’s go sledding, but we need pizza first.
Hey guys I brought a lamp for you, trust me that you don’t want to go stumbling around in the dark. You could stub your toe or something…
..and what the hell is this? You sneaky little bastards put it down. Why didn’t I see this coming? You would think I would know better by now. But no, some lessons are never learned no matter how many times you live them. Just get out, do me a favor and take the treasure with you. For the record I hope you choke to death on my beautiful bobbles of agate and ruby. Most of all I hope you choke on the sadness, the sadness of the broken heart of the world’s last treasure collecting dinosaur.
We went with a fun theme for our travel posters this time around, we settled on this. Mr. Sunshine basically your ambassador of happiness bringing a sunny day wherever he goes.
I don’t like it.
What is not to like?
I don’t like that he’s wearing clothes. It would seem impossible to me to dress the sun up, maybe I’m wrong.
We could scale it back, maybe go with the yellow jump suit or something.
Why are people jumping to their deaths around him? Do you want to vacation in a place or even live in the world where the sun wanders the streets inspiring mass suicide along the way?
No I guess not.
It’s not even scientifically accurate. There are parts of Portugal that get thirty plus inches of rain a year. Get back to the drawing board, let’s see what else you can come up with.