Little Piggy


This little piggy went to the market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy CAME OFF IN MY HANNNDDSSSS!


Mr. Harris Vs. The Storm


Great, another rainy day stuck in the house alone. What to do. What to do. I could make it a Netflix day. That could be fun. Should probably do the dishes, definitely put that on my list. When did my life become this collection of days strung together? I used to have dreams, things I wanted to do in my life. I wonder when they faded away.

See there’s my point. Mr. Harris always goes out into thunderstorms wielding a katana and cursing the merciless God that stole his wife.  See that’s a dream. I bet when he was a little kid he looked at storm clouds and said I’m going to stab the fuck out of a storm one day. What I would give for that passion.

Me I’m contempt to be a spectator. I’m wasting my life.

An Unexpected Guest


We talked about this a dozen times. No, this is not my lawyer talking. You can’t just show up drunk expecting to see my daughter. I understand that. No she is my daughter. Look being a swan with the ability to mentally communicate and breed with humans is great. It really is. We both know you’ll never be a father to him. This is not overreacting. We need to come to a simple agreement of avoidance.

No, you don’t get to do that. Filling my mind with our song is not going to help you on this one. No putting the smell of brownies won’t help ether. Great, now I’m just pissed off and I want brownies.


Economical Feline

The Lost Kitten.JPG

Why aren’t you listening to me?

You have my fullest attention. Your name is Kendra and this is your cat named Muffins. You are six and today you stopped by to warn me about a world…what was it?

A world-wide economic collapse, Muffins is certain it will occur too.

Will it now? Did my husband send you?

There’s no time, the fate of millions depends on your willingness to stabilize a volatile marketplace.

Come on in, I think I would like to learn more about this worldwide thingy. We have apple pie and if you want we can get some ice cream.

Let’s not just run off in a huff Muffins. No, we can stay for a slice. Leaving would be rude.

Would Muffin like sprinkles?

Oh you have sprinkles? We talked it over; we can stay for a slice, but only one.

Head right into the living room.